Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk, or Spilled Coffee


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Yup, that title has a literal translation. I’m actually in the middle of cleaning up my coffee off the girls pale pink rug. However, I had to stop for a minute and reevaluate my method of stomping on the towel to try and to soak it up. The towel isn’t working and either did the tub of baby wipes I used first. I’m sure Oxyclean will get it out, but I’m afraid the amount I’d need to use would bleach the carpet. Sigh. Nothing can be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee while playing house with a two year old.

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But as I sit here almost to the point of trying to lick the coffee from the carpet to get that caffeine fix I need; I think back to earlier this week when in a 5 second time span Diva and Bug doused the kitchen floor with cups of non-staining water. Was my reaction so lax and unfrenized? I can guarantee you it wasn’t.

Why do we have double standards for our children? I think that we also have different standards for our neurotypical and Autistic children. But why? I have mentioned before how I personally treat all my children the same despite their diagnosises. I know this can not always be the case. In our family we are fortunate we can. However, I don’t. I treat my children differently then I treat myself; I shouldn’t I realize now.

So next time one of the kids spill anything,  I am going to treat them the same way I acted today; with a lax attitude and standing onto of that towel to stop the mess up. However, from now on there will be no tears for us. I have tried hard over the past years to be a better me. It is never easy to change old habits,  but sometimes you have to.

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How Do I Set Up My Child’s Services at Our New Duty Station?


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The dust is finally starting to settle down on our pcs roller coaster ride. The boxes are almost unpacked and I’m starting to get the layout of the land. The first important step I need to take next is to set up our children’s services. But how do I do that? Well I am here to give you a little help.

If you didn’t know- once you change Tricare regions you will need to get all new prescriptions for your referrals. We went from TriWest to TriNorth, because we switched Tricare regions we have to get new referrals before our children are able to start receiving services again. Which means we had to go to our new PCM to get the new referrals to our specialists to get the new referrals for our services and prescriptions.

I would suggest calling to make a appointment with your child’s PCM ASAP. If you are unable to get a realistic appointment day scheduled, try asking if they have a clinic case manager or speaking with someone at the base patient advocacy department. For example, we arrive mid July. We were given an appointment date of mid August. Bug has a rare medical condition that requires mail ordered supplies and medication. We would be out of those items if we waiter until the system worked. Therefore, I had to call the base patient advocacy who informed me they actually have clinic case managers. The case manager was able to get us next day appointments. Now all our referrals to their new specialists have been placed and we even have scheduled a few appointments with the specialists.

It really just takes time and patience. One last piece of advice is to alert all parties involved of your move. A month prior to our pcs I informed the medical supply company that we would be moving. They were then able to alert the new branch of our incoming and our needs. This worked well as the new branch called us and set up a delivery before we even seen by the specialist. They also called our insurance to see what needed to be done on their end to speed the process along.

Mommy Monday: 30 Minutes to Decide Your Future


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How would you react? Your hands would start to shake, your breathing will pick up, your eyes will dilate and your heart will race. At least that is what happened to me when I got that call from Hubs, “I just walked out of my Commanders office; he just gave me 30 minutes to call you and decide our future”. 

A bit of a back story- Hubs job will soon be obsolete. There is no set time line; but we are told to expect a very fast paced exit. Hubs is in a place in his career where he needs to advance to stay competitive. However, how can he stay competitive in a career field that is ceasing to exist. This is the question we had 30 minutes (over a phone!); to decide where we go from here. 

He was given three choices. Try having that conversation over the phone. It’s hard! I’m a people reader. I relie heavily on reading peoples facial expressions. I can’t do that over the phone. Panic hit. How am I suppose to help make a choice that will effect our family; our future?

It wasn’t. 30 minutes is not enough time. Even 5 days later we are still trying to make a decision. However, we did have to make a choice and provide his Commander with an answer. Was it the right answer? No idea. When will we find out? No idea. It’s a choice we had to make and a decision we have to live with. 

There are so many factors we need to take into consideration.  It’s not just “let’s move. It’s a new adventure!”. It’s more like “we have to transfers the ieps, we need recommendations for new specialists, we need to contact the pharmacy and get a stock pile of medications and supplies, we need to research schools, interview new ABAs, set up a new respite worker; and so on”.    
What do they say? Focus on the journey, not the destination.  I will try, however, it seems the journey will be a long and arguious one.