Mommy Monday Moments: Say A Little Prayer for Me: Sisters Sharing a Room


Listening to the baby monitor click and fizzle, yet silent. Watching Antiques Roadshow and hand embroidering some burp cloths. That is what is consisting of my Monday night. It’s peaceful and relaxing. A complete 180 from Saturday night when we did the “big move”.

That night there were tears and sobs and my husband forcing me to watch a chick flick (his answer to calm me). Saturday night was the night, that not only did we move the baby from crib to big girl bed; we moved her from her own room to share a room with her sister.

Some might think that’s backwards. They may believe that you start sharing your room with your sibling, then graduate to your own room. So now we have a spare room. Which is awesome! And I want to move my craft room from the closet to it; but what’s the purpose? It is all going to be packed into boxes in the next week or so.

Which brings me to why we did it. Why did we force our youngest into the private life of Diva? Necessity. Upon moving back to the mainland, we will be living with family. In that situation all three will be sharing a room; possibly even a bed. We won’t have a crib or pack and play. SB, I’m not wanting to admit, is growing up. She will eventually be in a twin bed. So we are taking this time to get her and Diva accustomed to sharing a room.

Do I like it? No. Like I said I sobbed. It was horrible.

Three days later am I better? No, I’m drowning my sobs in a beer. Maybe in a few years I’ll finally get over the fact my children are growing up.

Tricare/Therapy Thursdays: My Child is Diagnosed with ASD. Now What?


When Bug got diagnosed with PDD-NOS I was completely ignorant to the types of therapy that might help him. I of course had heard of ASD and all its components, but I really didn’t know what there was in types of assistance to help them. My misinformation and misunderstanding was there were none.

I pictured a family with an ASD child like this:

Screaming child…everywhere. Screaming in the house, at the park, in every public location he went to. All his screaming was unintelligible (no, I did not think they were all stupid) because I thought not many of they could actually talk. I thought they went through life in a normal school environment just with the understanding that the child has ASD and there is nothing you can do for them; because there is no cure right? Then I pictured the parents and them crying every night after the child goes to bed because they are beyond tired, worried and stress. They are smelly (the parents not the kids) because they are so busy giving 24 hour attention to the ASD child, they don’t have time to take a shower. So they also have stock in Old Spice and Dove deodorant and their stock portfolio looks amazing. The parents are also so skinny they look like Ethiopian children because their intake of calories isn’t enough compared to the use of calories in a day chasing around an ASD child who can’t speak but sure as heck can run. Lastly, are the siblings. They are druggies, or don’t even live at home because they have run away. If they do live at home, they are never given attention and often are at the receiving end of the abuse from the ASD child, who can’t talk, can run and is violent when he can’t express what he needs; which is all.the.time.

After we got home from the doctors I looked at us and our home. No telling when Bug actually got ASD, but we looked average. I was over-weight, personally well taken care of. Our daughter was happy and healthy as well. Bug could tell us what he needed to a point and our bank account did not reflect income from stocks, since we didn’t even have a portfolio. So I waited. I waited for that shoe to drop. I waited for him to stop talking, for him to start running and for us to wither away to nothingness. But we never did.

Instead, Bug was given an IEP and started at a special education preschool. He thrived. He was the only verbal child in his class and because of that he was a amazing model for his peers. The doctors soon wrote prescriptions for therapy and the influx of therapists started entering our homes and our daily lives. I quickly learned what they all did in terms of helping ASD children. However, it took me some time to get it all down.

When faced with a new diagnosis, it is always overwhelming, even the second time around. With two ASD children, I felt in control and prepared when handed her diagnosis. But I wasn’t. I was less prepared actually. I quickly feel back onto Bug’s therapists for advice and help. And soon I was maneuvering the road down ASD again like a pro. So I thought I’d share some of the foundations of therapy that are often prescribed with a ASD diagnosis. Remember every child is different. I have two ASD children and besides them both receiving ABA, they receive different services.

OT– Occupational Therapists (OT) Autism Speaks describes OT as “brings together cognitive, physical and motor skills. The aim of OT is to enable the individual to gain independence and participate more fully in life”.

PT– Psychical Therapists (PT) “focused on any problems with movement that cause functional limitations,” as stated by Autism Speaks.

Autism Speaks lists speech – encompasses a variety of techniques and addresses a range of challenges for children with autism.

ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis), to me, is the most important type of therapy a child with ASD can receive. Autism Speaks states that “Since the early 1960’s, applied behavior analysis, or ABA, has been used by hundreds of therapists to teach communication, play, social, academic, self-care, work and community living skills, and to reduce problem behaviors in learners with autism.”

All this information and more can be found by visiting Autism Speaks.

A Mommy Moment

A dad creates a reading app for his Autistic daughter– Parents are making milestone happen for they own kids more and more. It’s sad to me thinking that there still are hole in therapy, resources and assistance. So much so we as parent have to step up and take that task upon ourselves. But sometimes I think that’s why I was given my children. Because someone knew instead of crying at all the little things that don’t make them “normal”, I’d just laugh and smile at them. To me they are normal. This is our normal.

Props to all those parents out there who stand up and fight for their children, who create apps and materials because there are none and who love their children unconditionally.

I have a friend who shared recently one of the most heart touching insights into being the mother of a ASD child. With her permission I am gonna share it with you (grab your tissues)-

“As I lay in the bed trying to fall asleep, I find mysslf stressing over the upcoming school year. I constantly worry about C being the new kid. I worry if he will have to endure the bullying he did the last few months in Hawaii. I wonder if it’ll be worse. I’ve found myself pushing him to be “normal” often out of my own fear. I’m constantly reminding him about talking to himself, making silly faces, playing with his hands, and the list goes on. I know that many of these things are autism related but still I push him to be normal. The reality is, he is NOT normal….he’s EXCEPTIONAL! Through all his quirks, he’s the first kid to help someone. When kids bullied him, he forgave them because “God says we should forgive”. He is always respectful. He always says ma’am/sir. He’s nearly been hit by a car trying to help a lady who’s bag flew into the street. He believes he should always be a gentlemen. When I ask him why is he always Happy, his answer is “because I have a lot to be Happy about”. The fact of the matter is, he is not normal. Those qualities/traits make him better. They make him stronger. They make him a young man wise beyond his years. I challenge all parents who have a child who isn’t considered “normal” to post about your EXCEPTIONAL child. Share with the world who they are and not what some feel they should be.”

Reading again, I still cry. I often “pick” on my kids when their quirks come out in public. I have even yelled at them and put them in time out. I often forget they have ASD. It’s a hard realization to face for any parent that your child is not similar to others. I want my kids to fit in and act socially acceptable. I don’t know why I do the things that I do.

But it’s not right. I took me a while to stop stressing and getting upset over their stems. Hubs has a harder time with it still. I think men are conditioned different than women. What Hubs sees is failure. That he (Hubs) could possibly has the “bad sperm”, or wonky family history. But it doesn’t matter if science discovers its a gene passed down or a massive mutation after birth. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s only our fault if we do nothing to help our children and stop trying to understand them.

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