Blank _______

I had goals in my life. I’m sure we all make them at some point. All goals we think normal people want to achieve. Graduating college, getting a job in your field, marriage, family, traveling, maybe even writing a book. I had several.

Age 22 – graduate college
Age 24 – get married
Age 26 – have first child
Age 30 – Cut off for kids

In between all those goals were more: getting my dream job, traveling and writing a book.

I pat myself on the back. I accomplished every goal I had set; and then some. I get a gold star my on chart.

On my 30th birthday, I sat alone on a beach in the rain and cried on the phone to my mom. I had no more goals. I had put a check mark by every one. I had nothing in my life to work for. I felt worthless and blank. Not blank as in _______; I felt blank, empty and emotionless.  I was numb.

I am sure we all have that day. A day of realization that can change the path you are on, or the route you had planned to take. I started writing some things down and realized I needed to create a new set of goals.

I never do well with “grey”. I like my black and white life and knowing (most of the time) what to expect so I can be prepared to handle it. Being caught off guard and having plans changed rattles and makes me feel anxious and afraid. Which is often the daily happenings with two special needs kids and military lifestyle. Just last week, Hubs was suppose to be home from a week long training and at the last moment his homecoming was pushed back a day. I cried. But after the year long hell of a deployment; one week should not have been that earth shattering.

Which leads me back to my opening thought- I have no goals. But maybe the goals I should be setting now are the ones for my family. My life has changed drastically since I first made the goals of graduating college, getting married and so forth. The center of my universe has shifted and in its orbit are three little stars gaining momentum and growing brighter each day.



Wordy Wednesday – MFLC

Forgive me for being so late with my posts, August has been and is a extremely busy month for our family. With Bug starting back to school and Diva switching schools, there is a lot of adjustments the kids are experiencing. Making each day a new adventure in the wonderful world of Autism (because they don’t do well with change!). So maybe I need to see a MFLC! But what is MFLC?

At first, I kept picturing this little duck walking around the office going “AFLAC, ALFAC!!!”. Then I realized it had nothing to do with a duck; but everything to do with a persons health. MFLC, or Military and Family Life counselor, is a program in the Army designed inn which, Masters or Doctorate-level licensed counselors assist families on a wide range of non-medical counseling services. I know from experience they even offer resiliency training classes (which MrsMissionControl and I took together!). Most importantly, they are a private counseling resource families, individuals and couples can use.  In addition they now have youth MFLC.

In the lifestyle we all lead (military families) we go through emotions and feelings that are unique to our situation. I had often felt the deep down sadness of experiencing depression. It is unsettling to talk to a family member or friend when pouring your heart out over how exasperated you feel; realizing at the end of the conversation you are the only one in it. This is where MFLC can step in and provide the understanding , mental equipment and knowledge on how to resolve a issue.