The moment when you step on something on the bathroom floor. You look down to see a dried mass of brown….something. Then three feet away you notice the wet toilet paper with a matching brown mass of ….something. Then you remember how 5 minutes before hand you had your foot on the counter and your husband was pulling a small piece of glass out of a cut. Then visions of your foot getting infected, falling off and having a peg leg shoot into your head. Yes, this was my Monday morning and yes it was dried poop.
I wont bore you with the disgusting details of the conversation we had discussing why Bug left poop and poopy toilet paper on the ground. However, I will tell you it was quiet entertaining.
The moment when you realize someone has opened the door while your taking a shower. The brisk morning A/C cooled air is now rushing into your bathroom you have blissfully been pumping steam into for the past 5 minutes. Trying to create your mommy spa. It went like this –
Hubs: can you turn down the heat?
Me: (sigh) yes. Just a second.
Hubs: turn down the heat!
Me: ok. Geeze calm down. Why is it so important that I can’t take a 5 minute shower?
I turn around to see a naked, and poop covered, little SB. Sigh. That needed no answer.
Followed by the moment when… you don’t want to leave the shower for fear of what you will find – and smell.
PS. We took the spawn on a hike yesterday. Saw some amazing views.
The moment when…you come down the stairs in a daze after being woken up WAY too early by your three year-old. You squint as you make your way into the kitchen when something stops you dead in your tracks…It’s brown, smallish, and lumpy. It’s sitting on the floor right next to your couch. With two boys in the house there are any number of things it could be. But, with two boys in the house in various stages of potty training it could also be one thing…
Is that poop on my floor?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Upon closer inspection, though, you realize all is well. It is actually just two cute, brown, little dinosaur toys. You heave a sigh of relief, and go about making your coffee. Poop crisis averted…for now, anyway. 🙂
The moment when… You lick something off your finger before you question what it is.
I grabbed a jar of peanut butter and saw “some” on my finger. Licked it off and only then questioned if it was in fact peanut butter. I hadn’t opened the jar yet. Luckily I didn’t even taste it as it went down. So whatever it was, I’m still alive.