Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk, or Spilled Coffee


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Yup, that title has a literal translation. I’m actually in the middle of cleaning up my coffee off the girls pale pink rug. However, I had to stop for a minute and reevaluate my method of stomping on the towel to try and to soak it up. The towel isn’t working and either did the tub of baby wipes I used first. I’m sure Oxyclean will get it out, but I’m afraid the amount I’d need to use would bleach the carpet. Sigh. Nothing can be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee while playing house with a two year old.

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But as I sit here almost to the point of trying to lick the coffee from the carpet to get that caffeine fix I need; I think back to earlier this week when in a 5 second time span Diva and Bug doused the kitchen floor with cups of non-staining water. Was my reaction so lax and unfrenized? I can guarantee you it wasn’t.

Why do we have double standards for our children? I think that we also have different standards for our neurotypical and Autistic children. But why? I have mentioned before how I personally treat all my children the same despite their diagnosises. I know this can not always be the case. In our family we are fortunate we can. However, I don’t. I treat my children differently then I treat myself; I shouldn’t I realize now.

So next time one of the kids spill anything,  I am going to treat them the same way I acted today; with a lax attitude and standing onto of that towel to stop the mess up. However, from now on there will be no tears for us. I have tried hard over the past years to be a better me. It is never easy to change old habits,  but sometimes you have to.

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Wordy Wednesday…Daddies!


So I spent a long time this morning ordering a gift for my husband for Father’s Day (Sunday, June 15- don’t forget!!!).  I had one of those $20 coupons for shutterfly.com but the gift I made was less than $20 so I couldn’t use it…So I had to add something else to get to $20, which doubled my shipping, blah, blah, blah…But I think it turned out cute, so after lots of mouse clicking, teeth grinding, and coffee drinking my order is complete.  I started thinking of my hubby and all the awesome stuff he does for me and our kids:

  1. makes my coffee on the weekends
  2. always carries in the groceries when I get home
  3. makes me a drink on the weekends
  4. gives our boys a bath
  5. is a master of doing dishes
  6. does laundry
  7. is sweet to my mom
  8. makes sure to set the DVR to record the shows he knows I like
  9. when I panic about cleaning the house he’ll step in and do the chores I like the least even after being at work all day
  10. cleans the litter box
  11. plays with the kids while I finish dinner so I don’t trip over them and burn them with boiling liquid
  12. surprises me with a date every once in a while that I had no part in planning
  13. will open the door for me and is teaching our boys to do the same
  14. teaches the kids how to do the things I don’t have the patience to teach them
  15. sets up a tent for the kids to play with inside…which they LOVED!!!
  16. and on, and on, and on…

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I seriously could go on and on.  As Daddy Day nears, I am going to try to remember all these awesome things he does every day for us.  It doesn’t mean that sometimes I don’t want him to do things the “right way’, (to be honest it’s really just “my way,” so that’s probably pretty subjective).  It doesn’t mean I don’t get irritated when I feel like I’ve told him something a million times and he’s looking at me like he has no clue what I’m talking about.  Hey, nobody’s perfect, me or him.  I just know sometimes I can get caught up with the negative, the nit-picking, and lose sight of the big picture.  And the big picture is?  Daddies/ Husbands rock.  Especially ours.

I’ll try to remember that the next time he dresses one of our boys in what he calls “Daddy Outfits.” 🙂

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Mommy Moment Monday…Raising Conscientious Kids…


Good morning everybody!  Hope you had a fabulous weekend.  We are getting a ton of rain here in Tennessee, but our prayers are with those affected by the awful tornadoes in Arkansas.

As a mom you try to teach your kids to be conscientious (thank God for spell check, I never did learn how to spell that word!).  You know, the pleases and thank-yous, sharing, saying sorry when you hurt someone with a put-down or a push ( and oh-so-many other examples), and just being aware of others in general.

This is a challenge for any parent, but for a parent of kiddos on the autism spectrum it can be especially challenging.  Kids with ASD can’t always read body language or facial expressions to know when someone is hurt or sad.  They may not understand the niceties of manners or political correctness.  That doesn’t mean they can’t learn those things, it just means that where other kids may just pick things up through social awareness, ours may need some training and coaching.

I remember the first time my son said “God bless you,” to me when I sneezed.  I was so proud!  That’s a big one for me.  I’ll say it to strangers in a store if they sneeze when I pass them 🙂  We all have our “things,” right?  Pleases and thank-yous are also strong currency in my house.  It is so much easier to help and serve others when there is gratitude.

So, all of that said, this is something my husband and I feel strongly about, and we’ve been working with our kiddos on this stuff for years.  Which leads me to the breakthrough we had over the weekend…I don’t live in a fancy house full of expensive things.  We are very blessed and have a beautiful home but it’s not like we have fine art and sculptures on display.  The things in our home that are valuable to us are so because of the sentimental value rather than the price tag.  That’s why when my kids break or mistreat things in our home it gets me two different ways.  I’m not talking about kids just being kids, or toddlers falling down and taking down a table with them.  It’s when my boys are just not paying attention or doing something they know they are not supposed to do (you can usually tell this by the guilty look on their face) that I have a hard time.

Case in point, here are the stairs leading down to our first floor where they boys spend a ton of time playing with their toys.

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I have a ton of pictures hung up on either side of the stairwell.  It does kind of seem like I’m booby-trapping my boys, I mean what kid can resist running his hand down the wall as he runs down the stairs even though there’s a perfectly good handrail on the other side? (not mine, I can tell you).  Hey, we’re a military family and we live far from home.  I like to have pictures up of family and friends to feel closer to them.

The picture on the bottom of the left side has had more than it’s fair share of drops, falls, and oopses.  Running kids’ hands, balls, and flying dinosaurs have knocked that particular frame down the most.  It’s a picture of my parents when they were dating in high school and it’s extra special to me.  Which helps to explain the conniption fit I feel rising in my chest every time they knock it down.  We have had many talks, I’ve had them help me hang it back up, practiced walking down the stairs properly, etc., etc.  They are getting better.

Which brings me back to that break-through I was telling you about.  I was working on the computer this past weekend, when my youngest came up to me and handed me this…

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The aforementioned picture of my parents.  To be honest, I felt irritated.  I took the picture and put it aside, telling him, “I’ll hang it up in a few minutes.”  That’s when I noticed him hovering next to my chair, with a look of unrest on his face.  I realized he wanted me to fix it now.  It was important to him!  Hallelujah!  He had knocked it down and instead of just leaving it on the floor he came all the way upstairs to hand it to me.  And it mattered to him that it go back in its rightful place!!!  I raced my happy little self to go hang it and gave him a hug and thanked him.  After that he was already on to the next thing but I couldn’t help but just stand there and feel proud of him.  All the teaching, advice, and training was getting in amidst all the flying dinos, balls, and running up and down the stairs.

Here the picture in its rightful place…

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That’s hubby and me ten years ago when we were dating, my-inlaws right before they got married over 40 years ago, and my parents in high school in the fifties.

Now I have another reason to be happy when I look at this wall.  Have a great week!  🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mommy Moment Monday- The Moment When….


The moment when you step on something on the bathroom floor. You look down to see a dried mass of brown….something. Then three feet away you notice the wet toilet paper with a matching brown mass of ….something. Then you remember how 5 minutes before hand you had your foot on the counter and your husband was pulling a small piece of glass out of a cut. Then visions of your foot getting infected, falling off and having a peg leg shoot into your head. Yes, this was my Monday morning and yes it was dried poop.

I wont bore you with the disgusting details of the conversation we had discussing why Bug left poop and poopy toilet paper on the ground. However, I will tell you it was quiet entertaining.