Mommy Moment Monday- The Moment When….


The moment when you step on something on the bathroom floor. You look down to see a dried mass of brown….something. Then three feet away you notice the wet toilet paper with a matching brown mass of ….something. Then you remember how 5 minutes before hand you had your foot on the counter and your husband was pulling a small piece of glass out of a cut. Then visions of your foot getting infected, falling off and having a peg leg shoot into your head. Yes, this was my Monday morning and yes it was dried poop.

I wont bore you with the disgusting details of the conversation we had discussing why Bug left poop and poopy toilet paper on the ground. However, I will tell you it was quiet entertaining.

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Mommy Monday: Beyond Our Front Porch


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Today I had MOPS. Our co-coordinator spoke about telling your life story and creating your story board to help. It was a great talked and it brought back a few things I have been trying to work on personally and goals I want to achieve. We all have grand notions of making goals and setting about wanting to change something about ourselves; but like most resolutions, I fail. I guess that it isn’t that I fail, it’s that I forget. If I don’t have a constant reminder of what it is I am working on, then I have a hard time staying on task.

One of those goals is putting my kids first. Yes, I said it. I don’t always put them first. Does that name me selfish? No, it makes me real and makes me; me. I see these woman trying to live up to a friend they live vicariously through on Facebook or build a home around photography they have seen on Pinterest. However, one day it hits them. It’s not working and they feel like they have failed. They have surrounded themselves with unrealistic goals and ideas, because those goals and ideas were their own.

My friend today shared a story that many people have heard before:

A woman invited her friend over to visit. She meets the friend at the door and offers her a seat on her Home and Garden picture perfect front porch. The two women take sit. Soon the woman offers her friend refreshments and snacks. Inside she goes and brings out a silver platter with pristine sandwich cakes, gourmet cookies and other picture perfect food. The two ladies have a great conversation and visit, soon they hug and the friend leaves.

Her friend is jealous that this woman, with her five kids, is so much more put together than her. The woman probably showered everyday, dressed in ironed and pressed clothes and seemed like she got a complete night of sleep every night.

As the friend leaves, the woman takes a deep breath and exhales as she slowly opens the front door. She trips over the mountain of toys that are scattered and heads into the kitchen where the sink is over flowing with dirty food covered dishes.

She didn’t want her friend to see any of it. She didn’t want her friend to know she was wearing yesterday’s clothes and hadn’t had time for a shower in days. But she gave off the false impression that everything was great; from the front porch.

I realized to a certain extend I do that. I want everyone to think that even with my three special children; I still have it all together. The fact is I don’t. I have a rocky relationship with Diva and constant hate myself for her not loving me the way she loves her father. I have a habit if atomically telling my children “no”, even if it them asking for water and I get irritated when they want to talk to me because I want just 5 more minutes to myself.

I’m trying; very hard. I’ve made progress but not enough. Every day I try harder. But as a mom, I know it’s not my best. I hope that day comes; hopefully before they move out of the house.

Digging Deeper into IEP: What is PLEP?


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I was educated this week about new procedures Tricare is now requiring potential and current patients of therapy (OT, Speech, PT and ect) to renew or approve their requests. Due to this, my son’s OT has now been denied twice by insurance. When I called both times they stated it was due to X reason. So I fixed X reason, and it was denied again. Then a few days later Bug’s OT got in contact with me and told me the real reason behind his therapy denials per Tricare. But before insurance would consider renewing his services, they required proof that he was not receiving OT during school hours.  You can no longer receive private therapy if you are also receiving the same therapy provided by the school system. Another way companies are trying to cheat their customers. Another day another post. To solve this issues, Bug’s OT asked for a copy of his PLEP.

<invison jaw dropping here>

For the past three years I have dealt with the special education platform. Being involved with it for three years does not make me an expert by any means, but I have become familiar with some of the parts, pieces and protocols involved with IEP’s and the SPED. So I had to look up what PLEP was and figured since I had to, I’d pass on the knowledge and a little extra to help be one step ahead on understanding your child’s IEP.

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The Autism Center for Education has a great resource online here, explaining what PLEP and PLAAFP are. In addition to what they have provided there is also a well written explanation on the steps of how one is put together before the IEP meeting. I don’t see you or I sitting down to write a PLEP or a  PLAAP (unless you are a SPED teacher), but seeing how they are written allows us as parents and advocaters to be one step ahead and educate ourselves on the process so we are able to ask more educated questions about the IEP itself.

Tip{py} Tuesdays: How to Be the WANT in Your ASD Child’s Life


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It is mentioned over and over again that one of the amazing characteristics of ASD children (and adults) is their true nature to latch onto a topic or hobby and emerge themselves in it becoming a subject matter expert. Sometimes they even mature into self taught masters of a skill or talent. Everyone needs to start somewhere. We, as parents, can choose to simply admire their capabilities or engage them in them. Personally, there has been a time with each child that I find it hard to relate to them on a personal and most basic level. I admit, I still have this issue with Diva. With Bug, he is a boy, and it was harder for me to relate to him based on gender and the ASD. With Diva, it is the ASD and just her. I struggle every day to figure out a way to connect with her. So I took a step back and looked at what I did to forge a bond, that I felt should have been natural, but was forced with Bug.

I remember watching him one day. I wanted to sit next to him so bad and play what he was playing. I wanted to talk to him about dragons and ninjas and simply have a conversation with him. However, ever time I walked near him and his playing field, he would yell at me and tell me to go away. He wanted nothing to do with me; I didn’t interest him. And due to the ASD, I never would. But I love him. I wanted to be accepted into his world. So I sat and thought. Until I realized I needed to interest him. I didn’t need him to need me, I needed him to want me. I think as parents we all want that feeling of being wanted. You need air to survive, but you want the things that make you happiest in life. I needed my son to want me. So, I found a way into his world.

Last week, Diva came into our den and sat next to me staring at my hands as I did some cross stitching and then some hand embroidery work. She sat and sat, watching my hands move the needle and floss in and out. Eventually, she ran off. A little while later she came back to show me something. She had found the crayons and paper and drew, what to her, was a copy of the project I was working on. So then I knew a way into her world.

Like her mama, she loves arts and crafts. She draws dozens of pictures every day, staples stickers to every flat surface she can find (thank you Goo Gone!) and will literally fall apart if she sees one of her masterpieces fall into the trash. The next day I went to Wal-Mart and walked into the joke of a craft section. Picked up supplies and brought them home. Super Bowl Sunday we sat down on the couch in the den together and worked on her first cross stitch. It wasn’t easy, but she did a few stitches. As soon as I saw her getting frustrated, I told her to go watch TV for a minute. So off and on we worked on a few stitches at a time. At this rate I think we might finish the one simple heart in a year. However, everyday since she has asked to work on it; if only for a few minutes and stitches at a time.

Blank _______


I had goals in my life. I’m sure we all make them at some point. All goals we think normal people want to achieve. Graduating college, getting a job in your field, marriage, family, traveling, maybe even writing a book. I had several.

Age 22 – graduate college
Age 24 – get married
Age 26 – have first child
Age 30 – Cut off for kids

In between all those goals were more: getting my dream job, traveling and writing a book.

I pat myself on the back. I accomplished every goal I had set; and then some. I get a gold star my on chart.

On my 30th birthday, I sat alone on a beach in the rain and cried on the phone to my mom. I had no more goals. I had put a check mark by every one. I had nothing in my life to work for. I felt worthless and blank. Not blank as in _______; I felt blank, empty and emotionless.  I was numb.

I am sure we all have that day. A day of realization that can change the path you are on, or the route you had planned to take. I started writing some things down and realized I needed to create a new set of goals.

I never do well with “grey”. I like my black and white life and knowing (most of the time) what to expect so I can be prepared to handle it. Being caught off guard and having plans changed rattles and makes me feel anxious and afraid. Which is often the daily happenings with two special needs kids and military lifestyle. Just last week, Hubs was suppose to be home from a week long training and at the last moment his homecoming was pushed back a day. I cried. But after the year long hell of a deployment; one week should not have been that earth shattering.

Which leads me back to my opening thought- I have no goals. But maybe the goals I should be setting now are the ones for my family. My life has changed drastically since I first made the goals of graduating college, getting married and so forth. The center of my universe has shifted and in its orbit are three little stars gaining momentum and growing brighter each day.

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