I’m Sitting Alone in my Closet with a Beer; We’ve All Been There


Don’t judge. I’ve been called a lot of despicable and ugly names; but fake ain’t one. It’s been a long day and as I’m finally able to take a breather and come out of my closet (please don’t judge my mess either), I can sit back enjoying my beer and smirk at the events of today. I didn’t smile because they all didn’t make me happy; but there definitely is humor to my day.

However, as I sat in my closet and notice our unpacked suitcases from the move, found the raw hides the dogs been hiding, and the clipped toe nails from around the trash can by the toilet (I told you I don’t hold back) I thought about everything that happened today to make it today.

I was able to attend my second MOPS meeting here in town. I loved it. I got to talk to other real mom’s like me; the ones who admit they hide in their bathrooms too. We learned about owing motherhood and not negating the value of our job. Just because we don’t have a weekly pay check or putting money into our 401k, does not mean we aren’t worth anything. It just means what we are worth as mom’s is a inmeauserable amount. Remember that moms; there is no hourly wage or yearly salary that can measure up to what we provide for our children and family now and into the future. Also, remember that if you need that 50….err 5 minute break in the bathroom- don’t forget the bottle opener.


The Moment When…

The moment when…just for one second you could be that girl in front of you at the check out. I recently was in a store purchasing a few household items. I grossly underestimated the items I needed and I politely pushed her items forward to get some of my things out of hands since I neglected to get a cart or a basket. As I did, I noticed her purchases. A pair of aviator style sunglasses, spray tanning bronzer, chap stick and three guilty pleasure magazines (I only term them as this because when I buy a magazine it is normally for a recipe or catching up on serious current life events.). I take notice of her clothes; a swimming suit cover up with her suit underneath. And then I look at what I am wearing; jeans, flip flops, tank top WITH a sweater over it. And then I look at what I’m buying – a coffee mug, K cup coffee cups, diapers, and a few random office supplies. Oh, did I forget to mention I had to stop at Starbucks BEFORE I bought my coffee, because I was out that morning and could barely function? And that is when I realized how much my life had changed. Obviously she was going to the beach alone; to sit and read and catch some rays. How I wanted to be her for one second. Just to feel the relaxation coursing through her body while she day dreams of what was ahead. Instead all I felt was the coffee coursing through my body and how fast I needed to get home. But when I got home, I looked around at the toys, dirty laundry, bed time books and my kids empty beds. I missed them, and wish they were at home with me that moment so I could give them all a hug. Like I said; I wished just for a moment I was that girl. But I am glad that for an entire life time I get to be THIS girl.