Summer Heat… And I Don’t Mean the Temperatures


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Summer vacation is winding down; oh no. I. Am. So. Sad. I don’t really know how to write sarcasm, but that was it folks because I can’t wait until August 27th when both Bug and Diva will be in school full time. Don’t get me wrong. I have loved this summer off from therapists and appointments. It has allowed us to be free with our plans and let me enjoyed our children at their finest moments (and their unfinest).

Of course that meant I have a army of stories to share. My spawn never disappoint. We cried, yelled, smiled and laughed. This summer has taught us many new lessons as a family and opened up opportunities for our children they have never had before.

First up, pets. Real pets. Not no swimming guppies in a tank. We are talking real furry pets that require care and responsible owners. Err… I haven’t met those people yet, however, after a month I can safely say our pets are still alive and the kids aren’t asking to take them back.

And now for a story for your enjoyment.

At this point in their little furry cute lives, both Dog and Cat are not fixed. Don’t worry folks that will be fixed next week (no pun intended). However, Mother Nature likes to remind us all she is still in charge. Let me also quickly refer you back Manhood and Bugs adverse reaction to blood.

When I saw drops of blood in Cats bed after returning home from shopping, I got worried. The amount did not scare me. What scared me was Bug and Diva noticing and me have one bleeding dog and two hysterical children. I quickly picked up her bed and rushed Cat outside away from the children so I could inspect her. I guessed while we were out Catdog got a little too rowdy playing. However, I couldn’t find the source of the bleed. I let Catdog back in the house and immediately saw droplets of blood on the floor.

I needed to call the vet anyways regarding next weekend appointment. While confirming the appointment I mentioned how our poor baby was bleeding and I couldn’t find where from. And then it hit me. Ewwwww. Yea, eww. Do I need to go into more detail? Ok, fine.

I explained to the vet tech that our dog was bleeding from her, um, ya know- special area. The person on the other line just laughed, “you never have a dog in heat?!”. Well no dear. If I had I wouldn’t have just made a fool of myself telling you my dog was on her period. But now explain that to our five and six year old. Yup, I decided it was time for bed. I think that explanation can be saved for another time and place; one where daddy is home to do it

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Wordy Wednesday: Understanding ADHD


He’s there, he’s here, he’s everywhere. He is upside down on my couch, he is constantly kicking the band on his chair, he never. stops. moving. I was told time and time again that with the diagnosis of ASD, normally a diagnosis of ADHD is often assumed. It was with this understanding that we entered the public school system. However, it was this knowledge that even the most educated in the district over looks. It is common, but not, mandatory, that these two diagnosis’s be assumed as a pair. Often is the case that is hard to tell where the ASD stops and the ADHD begins. Which I have been told is why the diagnosis is assumed and normally not diagnosised dually. Why?

It is basically a double dx. If your child had ASD, it is assumed under the DSM that ADHD is also present. However, I ran into a huge problem in our educational system. Due to the fact ADHD was not literally on his iep paperwork, they would not treat my son as such. So instead they deemed him as having behavioral problems not associated with ASD. Back to the doctor we went and out we came with a diagnosis of ADHD.

It amazes me what has to be done to get the simple and average care for my child in school. When we turned in the letter from the doctor with his additional diagnosis, the school highly disagreed. They told us his teacher claims he is a model student and assists the other children when needed. There is no doubt in my mind he would. He is repeating kinder, he knows the route now and what to expect and knows what is expect of him. The bigger issue will come next year when he advances to first grade. Everything will be new, possibly including a new school, new state, new continent. What does surprise me is his physical behavior.

At home he is a enigerzeer bunny; no batteries needed. Why the rouse at school? People think I’m crazy, or that I have Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy. But one day I saw something that made perfect sense and eased my worries about other peoples thoughts towards my kid.

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After doing a little more research on the links between ASD and ADHD, I also learned there is more than just one type of ADHD that covers everyone. Learning more about different types and different reactions to ADHD has helped me better understand my son and ways to help him. I encourage you to do the same. It doesn’t matter the diagnosis, but educating yourself more will make you and your family feel more comfortable with any diagnosis.

Oh, Mommies, Tomorrow I Have a Fight to Win


Oh, mommies, tomorrow I have a fight to win.

I will be positive and optimistic.

I will win.

It is a fight most of us have to battle monthly or even weekly. It’s an IEP meeting. Ugh, just the mention of an IEP meeting sends my blood pressure up and me full force into battle plan mode. This meeting tomorrow I know will be a vicious one.

My son’s school occupational therapist wants to pull his OT from his IEP. You want to know what is funny? She is only on his IEP as consultation only; which means she is only called in to help when there is a problem. So why does she feel she needs to remove herself from it?

My guess is it is mainly due to just removing him from her case load. She is the only OT at the school and the school refuses to let private therapy onto school grounds. Furthermore, she had an issue when he got OT added to his IEP. At the last IEP meeting said she wanted to make a verbal deal with us in regards to his care. Wait, what?! You want me to believe you will help us if there is an issue because you tell me vs. having it in writing? Yea, that’s funny and I’m not stupid.

Her problem is she feels he no longer needs OT because of the wonderful progress he has made. Um, yea…it’s called repeating kindergarten. Of course he has had no behavioral issues. What type of environment does a kid with ASD do best? One that he has already experienced and knows the set routine.

What worries me and why I will fight to keep his OT on his IEP is because 1) next year when he enters first grade it will be a new environment with a new routine, and we all know how unproblematic that is going to be and 2) if/when we move, he will once again encounter an new environment and new routine. What did I just repeat myself?

Either possibility will create upheaval and newness for him that will impact his behavior which has already proven to impact his education (hence why he had to repeat kindergarten!!!!).

When will educators stop worrying about paperwork and start worrying about the student?

Blank _______


I had goals in my life. I’m sure we all make them at some point. All goals we think normal people want to achieve. Graduating college, getting a job in your field, marriage, family, traveling, maybe even writing a book. I had several.

Age 22 – graduate college
Age 24 – get married
Age 26 – have first child
Age 30 – Cut off for kids

In between all those goals were more: getting my dream job, traveling and writing a book.

I pat myself on the back. I accomplished every goal I had set; and then some. I get a gold star my on chart.

On my 30th birthday, I sat alone on a beach in the rain and cried on the phone to my mom. I had no more goals. I had put a check mark by every one. I had nothing in my life to work for. I felt worthless and blank. Not blank as in _______; I felt blank, empty and emotionless.  I was numb.

I am sure we all have that day. A day of realization that can change the path you are on, or the route you had planned to take. I started writing some things down and realized I needed to create a new set of goals.

I never do well with “grey”. I like my black and white life and knowing (most of the time) what to expect so I can be prepared to handle it. Being caught off guard and having plans changed rattles and makes me feel anxious and afraid. Which is often the daily happenings with two special needs kids and military lifestyle. Just last week, Hubs was suppose to be home from a week long training and at the last moment his homecoming was pushed back a day. I cried. But after the year long hell of a deployment; one week should not have been that earth shattering.

Which leads me back to my opening thought- I have no goals. But maybe the goals I should be setting now are the ones for my family. My life has changed drastically since I first made the goals of graduating college, getting married and so forth. The center of my universe has shifted and in its orbit are three little stars gaining momentum and growing brighter each day.

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I’m a Bad Mommy


We are walking to school. I only got to see you for 1.5 hours yesterday. I miss you; I need you. I want to feel your warmth and hold you. I keep looking down at you wanting to pick you up in my arms. But I can’t. I’m just not that multi talented. And now I have to wait even longer to have you. I miss you…coffee. But don’t worry, we will be reunited shortly. The kids are almost at school.

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