Blank _______


I had goals in my life. I’m sure we all make them at some point. All goals we think normal people want to achieve. Graduating college, getting a job in your field, marriage, family, traveling, maybe even writing a book. I had several.

Age 22 – graduate college
Age 24 – get married
Age 26 – have first child
Age 30 – Cut off for kids

In between all those goals were more: getting my dream job, traveling and writing a book.

I pat myself on the back. I accomplished every goal I had set; and then some. I get a gold star my on chart.

On my 30th birthday, I sat alone on a beach in the rain and cried on the phone to my mom. I had no more goals. I had put a check mark by every one. I had nothing in my life to work for. I felt worthless and blank. Not blank as in _______; I felt blank, empty and emotionless.  I was numb.

I am sure we all have that day. A day of realization that can change the path you are on, or the route you had planned to take. I started writing some things down and realized I needed to create a new set of goals.

I never do well with “grey”. I like my black and white life and knowing (most of the time) what to expect so I can be prepared to handle it. Being caught off guard and having plans changed rattles and makes me feel anxious and afraid. Which is often the daily happenings with two special needs kids and military lifestyle. Just last week, Hubs was suppose to be home from a week long training and at the last moment his homecoming was pushed back a day. I cried. But after the year long hell of a deployment; one week should not have been that earth shattering.

Which leads me back to my opening thought- I have no goals. But maybe the goals I should be setting now are the ones for my family. My life has changed drastically since I first made the goals of graduating college, getting married and so forth. The center of my universe has shifted and in its orbit are three little stars gaining momentum and growing brighter each day.

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A Newborn’s Placenta May Reveal Autism Risk


I think some of us parents who have special needs kids can fall into the trap of “what did I do?” We often question if it is our fault for our child being a special needs child. I took the route of accepting our children’s diagnosis and learning how to help them. I wasn’t the one who suffered illnesses, panic attacks and developmental delays. So why feel the guilt and pain?

A new article on USA today might have a new way to asses if a child will develop autism; they day they are born.

A newborn’s placenta may reveal autism risk.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2013/04/25/autism-placentas-newborns/2110349/