Ummm, Guess What? PLEASE READ


Ummm,  we are moving! Err,  to a new Web address,  not another duty station. Although,  you could equate it to that. Anyways,  when we move (sooner than you think) we will need you to follow us there.

We don’t want to lose you. That could make us look like bad parents. And we maaayyyy have lost a kid or two before. Just saying… We don’t want to lose you either.

So please follow us at

And please don’t make me beg. I look really unattractive when I do.

Is a 504 plan Right for Your Child- Via Military Special Needs Network

School starts next week for us (thank you!). Last night was our open house and the children got to meet their new teachers prospectively. Of course new situations don’t come without a few bumps we must maneuver around along the way. On is named Ms. Pérez, who happens not to be Diva’s kindergarten teacher for the entire year. For half of the school year, Ms. Pérez will be the teacher subbing for Diva’s real teacher who is on maternity leave until Christmas. However, at this point I feel that is the least of Diva’s worries.

Up until this point Diva as not been in a public school education or qualified for IEP to obtain admittance to a special needs preschool. She has been tested twice and told, even though she was mute during both testing periods, that would not impact her education and she still passed all the tests. Her passing the tests was remarkable to me since they reported she didn’t say one word, does not know how to spell, read or write. So here we are a year later in a new state and a new school district. Seeing Diva in a preschool setting I feel she will not qualify for a IEP, however, I feel there are certain accommodation. So how do we get those accommodations for her if she has no IEP to write them in? Say ello to my ittle friend… the 504 Plan.

I have been looking for the Dummies Guide to IEP’s and 504’s and found one today. Who can say “awesome sauce”!? Just say thank you to Samantha over at Military Special Needs Network provided us with a great explanation of the difference between an IEP and a 504 plan.

Life Lesson Learned Today… Explaining the Word Competitive


I am in no way a competitive person. I could care less who wins or loses most games and the games I do care about I love finding a formidable opponent (don’t date think you can beat me in Monopoly). Hubs seems to be along the same lines. His lack of competition might come from more of a laid back attitude about most things in life. Now that Bug is getting older, he is surprising us with his fierce competitive nature about everything. Today was the day I had had it and decided to educate and inform my children about healthy competition. Of course this was no easy task, nor do I think I accomplished my momism of getting my point through to them in the 15 minutes they were, in their words, trapped in the car with me and our screaming cat on the way to a vet appointment. However, since they were trapped in their seats I used and abused every second.

Bug starts his day off with racing to get ready first. At the breakfast table he mentions to me, still in my Jammie’s, how he is dressed and done with breakfast and likes to comment how I haven’t even had one cup of coffee. Err, I think their should be an additional lesson to learn there- don’t talk to mommy before her coffee. Nevertheless, he is apt and on point about his first victory of the day.

I used to push off his competitive attitude by telling myself he is just stating a fact about his black and white world. However, his fact mentioning is growing increasingly out of hand and initiating fights with his siblings. This past weekend we realized it wasn’t a simple statement he was making. We realized that if playing a game he knew he was losing or could not win first, he would drop out or complain someone was cheating. I asked Hubs if he knew a way to instill in him a healthy competitive spirit, but because neither of us are overly eager to fight Bug on it (because that’s what it would end up beginning; Bug feeling he is right and a “winner” in his actions) we swept it under the rug. However, on second though I feel it is a battle worth fighting for. I feel it’s a personality trait that could hinder and hold him back from progression and achievements in his life.

So back to this morning with one screaming cat and three, than interested, kids in a car. Bug, again, proclaimed how he was the first to get in the car. I cricked my neck the the side, rolled my eyes and sighed as his sister climbed in “last”. I asked him what the finish line was. He said he didn’t know. I asked him if it was bad to be last. Luckily, he said no. So I asked him what would happen if he got in after his sister. He replies “then she’d get out last”. Pop, roll, sigh. I wanted to scream and shake him right there. Pop, roll, sigh. I didn’t. Instead, I went with a different approach; the logical one.

Fact: the hard truth is there is always a winner and a loser.

Fact: loser is connected with a negative definition; as in “not winning”.

So I asked the kids what the meaning of competition was. Diva eagerly answered it was playing a game. In a kids mind, yes. So I ran with it. We talked some more about feelings and then I gave them prompts on what to say if they lose and what to say if they win. All in all, the end result wasn’t what would end up winning me mom of the year, but at least I broached the topic of graceful competition.

If you feel you are constantly running a race against the world, your gonna end up to tired to finish at all.

A Parents Dilemma: To Tell or not to Tell Your Your Child about Their Diagnosis


I’ve written before about a question some parents of children of ASD share- when and do we tell our children about their diagnosis.

There is a debate related to it. What does it benefit the child if we tell them? Some argue that it can cause low self esteem in children who might already feel depressed, upset or confused about themselves. The other side to the argument is some children might feel relief to know there is a diagnosed problem and it is not just a feeling. With confessing to them their diagnosis comes understanding about themselves and might make it easier for the child to manage their life. Whatever side you are on, I don’t feel there is a right side. They say “if you’ve seen one child with Autism, you have seen one child with Autism”. Every child is different; nuero typical or not. You have to decide for yourself whether your child could handle the reveal.

However, that pops a new question into my mind. Does that mean we are deceiving our children by not telling them?

I know, just recently, Bug has announced he is different than other people. His reasons are infantile and childish; he likes watching tv a lot. I want to correct him and explain that he is different. But so is Diva and SB. SB is cray cray! But I feel that parent guilt again. Am I lying to my child?

Bug is quite different from Diva. He sees the world in black and white. There are rules to follow for everything and if not he makes up his own rules to follow. He is book smart and doesn’t have a lot of common sense. He doesn’t express emotions. I want to tell him his deep secret I’ve been keeping for him. I feel he could handle it. I even feel it could help him understand why he knows he is different.

I think that’s it. I think the key to deciding if you tell your child is if they notice they are different. If they can access there is a difference between themselves and others, I think they could benefit from knowing it’s not bad to be and feel different.

Luckily, last week I was blessed with a few materials to help me blab my secret to Bug. During a EFMP intake meeting for our new duty station, we were given a bag full of great resources and books including Say Hello To Me by April Charisse and Since We’re Friends by Celeste Shally. Both children’s books depict the main character as having ASD.

It maybe not be the right decision for your child, but at this point, I feel it is the right one for mine. I know it will come with a lot of questions but I hope it will give him a lot of answers.

Of course I’ll keep you all updated on how it goes and right now I’m out of vodka to help me after the process; so it might be a few days before I get to it.

Organizing Our Chaos: Summer Hiatus


Yesterday I posted about my summer abroad visiting family and loving life back on the mainland after FOUR YEARS (I still can’t get over that!) of island living. I’ve been sporadic with my posting and begging my co-blogger to help out. She has been amazing, but now we both are at the point mid-summer where we are just having to much fun and enjoying our family.

As you know we are a family blog. We love to share our funny, positive stories along with how to manage and organize chaos while raising children with special needs with a dash of being military wives. Enjoying your family, despite diagnosises, is our most important point we like to make. Furthermore, because of that we can going to cut back on our daily posts to live what we preach. Hopefully, we can provide you with new entertaining stories like Dirty Water and Manhood. Take the rest of the summer to read some past articles and familiarize yourself more with who we are and what we our mission.