Blank _______


I had goals in my life. I’m sure we all make them at some point. All goals we think normal people want to achieve. Graduating college, getting a job in your field, marriage, family, traveling, maybe even writing a book. I had several.

Age 22 – graduate college
Age 24 – get married
Age 26 – have first child
Age 30 – Cut off for kids

In between all those goals were more: getting my dream job, traveling and writing a book.

I pat myself on the back. I accomplished every goal I had set; and then some. I get a gold star my on chart.

On my 30th birthday, I sat alone on a beach in the rain and cried on the phone to my mom. I had no more goals. I had put a check mark by every one. I had nothing in my life to work for. I felt worthless and blank. Not blank as in _______; I felt blank, empty and emotionless.  I was numb.

I am sure we all have that day. A day of realization that can change the path you are on, or the route you had planned to take. I started writing some things down and realized I needed to create a new set of goals.

I never do well with “grey”. I like my black and white life and knowing (most of the time) what to expect so I can be prepared to handle it. Being caught off guard and having plans changed rattles and makes me feel anxious and afraid. Which is often the daily happenings with two special needs kids and military lifestyle. Just last week, Hubs was suppose to be home from a week long training and at the last moment his homecoming was pushed back a day. I cried. But after the year long hell of a deployment; one week should not have been that earth shattering.

Which leads me back to my opening thought- I have no goals. But maybe the goals I should be setting now are the ones for my family. My life has changed drastically since I first made the goals of graduating college, getting married and so forth. The center of my universe has shifted and in its orbit are three little stars gaining momentum and growing brighter each day.

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Morning People Problems


It’s been a hell of a week. No sleep, no help, no husband and still three kids I must nurture, feed and keep alive. They do have their moments though. Good thing they are cute, or id be selling them to the next salesman at my door. 

But today should be a happy day. He is home. He is here. He is standing in the kitchen…in front of my freshly poured cup of coffee. Does this man not learn. 

I see him standing there pouring a glass of milk. Ok, I’ll wait. 

No, no, no! He’s leaning. Why is he leaning on the counter! Does he not see my coffee. I have been standing here patiently for 5 minutes watching the steam rise up off the cup. My mouth is watering. And he’s leaning! That’s it. 

…walks over…

I love you husband but we both know I am not a morning person. Why? Don’t ask me why standing there all awake and happy. 

What does he do next? Wraps me in a bear hug. What is this dude’s problem! I’m not awake. I’ve got crap I have to finish and your trying to sooth me like a newborn baby. Holding me as tightly as possibly is only cutting off my circulation to my brain. Anger is rising inside me. I just want to punch him in the face. But then I look over and she’s standing there; politely waiting for me. Those dark brown eyes, porcline skin and warm tender kisses. 

Oh coffee cup. I love you. 

I.am.not.a.morning.person. 

Foodie Friday…Mama’s French Toast!


You know those nights when you just can’t come up with a great dinner idea?   In our house the solution to this problem is often breakfast for dinner, or brinner, as we like to call it 🙂

One of my favorite brinner menus, or breakfast too for that matter, is french toast.  This is a great, simple recipe I got from my mom and it is a goodie.

Start with some yummy bread.  In our house, we usually eat wheat/ multi-grain bread for sandwiches, etc…but I find the best bread for french toast  is good, old-fashioned white bread ( or a loaf of fresh french bread from the bakery if you can get it!)  This time we used Texas Toast and it worked great.

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Here are the other ingredients you’ll need:

-bread (I find white, soft bread works best)

-vanilla

-cinnamon

-milk

-eggs

-vegetable oil

-any breakfast sides you desire (bacon, sausage, more eggs, fruit, etc…)

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This is a great recipe because you can modify the amount you make to fit the size of your crowd fairly easily.  For our family of four, I start with three eggs, a splash of vanilla, 1/8 c. of milk, and a  generous sprinkling of cinnamon on top to make about 6 slices of french toast.

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Mix all the ingredients with a whisk; I like to use a pie pan because it’s the right depth.  Then, place slices of bread in the mix giving them time to soak on each side.

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Place soaked bread in a heated (medium heat works best) skillet coated with vegetable oil.  You may have to add more oil in between panfuls if you noticed it getting dry.  You don’t want the french toast to stick.

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Cook both sides of toast until golden brown and transfer to a plate.  I usually try to butter them while they are warm.  Serve with warm syrup, fruit, whatever sides you desire.  So good!

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*Another bonus?  If you make too much, they can be frozen in ziploc bags.  On a busy morning, just pop them in the toaster and you get homemade french toast in a jiffy 🙂

Have a great weekend!

Tricare and Therapy Thursdays: Keeping Medical Statements


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That is about two years worth of insurance billing statements. Why do I keep them (honestly I’d be asking where!)?

You need to keep your explanation of benefits (EOB) for your records of what has been authorized, permitted, and services acquired under your name or your dependents name. Because we are under military health insurance, there is a cap on certain codes and services. In some cases, like ours, we get dangerously close to meeting that cap every year. It is a good idea to keep your EOB and look over each new one to make sure all the codes are processed accordingly and accurately and all fees paid out by your insurance company are the right amounts.

At one point in time, I did’t care whether our insurance was coding things right and paying the right amount for services we got. Who cares, we don’t pay for it out of pocket right? Wrong. Eventually, what happened was there was a coding error; which I didn’t catch because I didn’t read my EOB. Due to that mistake, we eventually got a bill of over $5,000 that we were being asked to pay out of pocket. <insert gasp in horror here>. Not only that, eventually that lead to our yearly cap going over and us having to pay more out of pocket. Luckily all mistakes were fixed and we were not going to have to fork over our first born for payment. However, my little transgression made me realized I needed to pay more attention to our EOB. Especially since we are a medical high maintenance family. I think last year alone, we were sitting at $27,000 of a $30,000 cap for services like ABA, OT, PT and speech at the end of the fiscal year. I don’t know about you; but we be broke people! I’d be offering up my first born again as payment, and I kinda of grown attached to him now.

All those who Tricare/United Health Care for insurance can go here, for more information regarding your EOB and to register to receive your EOB online.