The Moment When…

The moment when you kid tells you he doesn’t know how to eat Spagettios.


It’s so exasperating and a battle I typically don’t fight alone, but I felt feisty this week. Twice this week I made my kids try something new.

If you have ASD kids you might realize what a beast of a fight I was walking into. But I knew I had to be strong and firm.

If you don’t have ASD kids you may not realize that one issue related to ASD is the issue of change. They don’t handle it well. I’m an no talking about simple big changes like a move where most people would have anxiety as well. I am
discussing small insignificant changes like instead of round waffles you buy square. That small simple change can send my kids into a hour long riot. Where in the end they still haven’t eaten and if they have they mental taste a difference in shape which causes them to throw it up. It’s no joke. It has been done before.

So you ask why try to introduce new things or why change old ones. It’s simple- one day they might realize square waffles and round ones taste the same. It’s a novel idea that one day I hope they realize. So I go to battle.

This week it was peanut butter sandwiches on bread; not crackers and Spagettios. Yes, we have deprived our children of a favorite childhood meal.

So I heat it up and serve it. Tears, screams and full on body flailing occur. And they aren’t even to the table to sit yet. A riot soon starts. Screaming, throwing food, back talking. I was prepared.

I had a second can. Sure, I thought, throw your food on the ground. I have back up. So I made another can. By this time the natives are starting to settle. Then I bring out the positive reinforcements (I will talk about the difference between that and bribing later).

Bug picked up his spoon first. He studied it assessing it color, shapes and sizes. 15 minutes later he is still staring at the same spoon. I finally snap. “Take a bite!”. “I can’t” he tells me. I ask why. Why did I ask why!!!

“I can’t find the letter A and A is the first letter in the alphabet so I can’t eat yet”. “A?” Shm.

Yup, that’s pretty much how it goes around here. Tip- don’t buy alphabet Spagettios. Apparently they come with a starting point.

In the end he did find a “A”. It was stuck to a meatball he tried…and threw up.

Confession Of A Stay At Home Mom

I must confess. I get tired of people complaining about their daily routines and lives- and they are the ones with no kids! They like to glorify their grocery shopping and base board scrubbing lives (I wish I had time for that!). You can read the following and label it as complaining and haten’ on my life but its not. Open your eyes, because its a glimpse into mine. What is more, you need to realize I’m not the only one whose life this represents. If I didn’t love my life I wouldn’t be in it. But I nor any other mother would change one day about being home with their children…

I changed diapers, vacuumed the floor from lunch, cooked dinner and now washing the dishes. Where did I go wrong?

I hate cleaning with a passion. I would rather buy two weeks of clean clothes for my drawers than doing 5 loads of laundry a day. I dust maybe twice a year. I am on my third light weight vacuum this year. I probably vacuum 6 times a day- after each meal and snacks. Cooking was a foreign word to me. Yes, I worked at St. Louis Bread Company (aka Panera Bread) but I didn’t actually bake anything! But I on average cook 5 out of 7 nights a week- and…I…like…it. Well sorta. It’s not like I prance around in heels, pearls and a apron like a 50’s housewife. But you get the point. I’m not a domestic goddess or a Martha wanna be. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom (sahm). Yet here I sit 5 years later slave to my house and secertary to my kids.

Being a sahm is not all the glamor it portrays. And knowing I live in Hawaii you might envision me basking on the beach with glittering water and golden sand. My children splashing carefree in the shallow waters of the emerald ocean. And lets not forget Hubs rubbing oil onto my tan gleaming sun kissed skin.

Barf! Fantasy vs reality people! I spend my days in my little one story ranch duplex that makes me claustrophobic, with no ac, roaches and flies that we can’t kill. Im shelpling kids from preschool, grade school, baseball, and running home in time to meet therapists. Half the time I forget deodorant and to pee in the mornings.

I never wanted this life. I wanted to work, pick my kids up from day care to come home and get a meal cooked so we can all sit at the table together and talk about our day.

Instead our meal today consisted of Bug first refusing to eat dinner, to him at least sitting at the table with us, to him touching his food, to finally taking a bite- and throwing it up. Dang does that boy have food issues!

Next, Diva gets spaghetti all over her white shirt on the first bite. Hubs intelligently removed her and SB’s shirt; only to have Diva swing into full tantrum mode. No worries about her striping! She has to be fully clothed at all times. But since all her clothes were dirty besides white shirts, her only option was one of Bugs. But that solution didn’t go over well. So she joined Bug in a harmonious brother/sister crying duet. Luckily, SB likes all food and ate.

This is not the life I pictured and when I adjusted that view, it’s still not the one I see. I also never dreamed of having two Autistic kids either. One day my daydreaming might catch up to my reality. In the mean time I think that’s how I manage day to day. Everyday the view I see comes closer to what I dream. I love my kids and I love my life. So maybe the two have finally merged?

Being a stay at home mom is not a day at the beach even when you live at one.

Tricare Invokes New Restrictions And Cutbacks On ABA Therapy

Earlier today while I was catching up on the world as I was sleeping, I came across a article that sent me into a small panic. One that you get Monday morning when you realized you forgot to do the laundry and no one has no clean clothes.

The article talks about how Tricare is putting new restrictions and cutbacks on the ABA program. Say wha?!

First you are switching us to United which has caused so many problems that you grant every referral approval because they don’t have the means to deal with them all (even though that is true, it still took me 38 days to get a referral approved. It was lost in United system 4 times!). And now you want to implement new restrict and cutbacks when there has been a increase in ASD diagnosis?

Well it looks like United might have woken up a little bit. Sources say the article that came out today was written before United created such pandemic of problems when it took over. For the time being I think we can all take a slight breather that nothing is actually changing for our kiddos. Nevertheless, when it does change it will mainly impact retires.

The Moment When…

The moment when you realize your kid is not where you left him.

I was busy giving some medication to SB when after she took off and headed for the bathroom. She is a fish and will not stay out of our walk in shower. I run in there to grab here expecting Bug to still be showering and he wasn’t!

Mom freak out moment. He pops his head out of his room and proudly tells me he turned off the shower and got dressed. I am shocked and surprised and excited he is starting to do things out of order.

Then he tells me he is still wet because I didn’t hand him his towel. The towel rack is kid height (we live in a handicapped accessible house on post) and is a foot away from the shower. How can you not just reach over and grab it!!! Shm.
Baby steps.

Playing The Local Tourist- Hawaii Part 3

I’ve been sharing with you all about playing my family playing tourist where we live. I hate going home during the holidays and having family gawking over us about living in paradise only to tell them we rarely leave base and go exploring. So with about a year left on this rock we are deciding to take all the opportunities we get and see what is beyond the base walls.

A few weeks ago Hubs and I had a amazing day celebrating our anniversary. I wrote a post about us hiking Diamond Head, swimming at Eternity Beach and eating at the Kona Brewing Company for lunch. Then a few days back I followed that up with a post exploring the Honolulu Zoo (with scavenger hunt printable link), USS Arizona Memorial and the Dole Plantation.

I wanted to bring you a few more chances to explore Hawaii by visiting the Pacific Aviation Museum, USS Missouri and Makapuu Lighthouse Hike.


The Pacific Aviation Museum

Our son loves going here. Not only do they have tons of planes and helicopters what totally amazes Hubs and I is the fact that they kept the damage caused when Ford Island was attacked during the attack on Pearl Harbor.

PAM bulletholes picmonkey

It only takes about 30 minutes to a hour to get through the museum itself. Before you begin the walk through is a short 12 minute movie about the attack on Pearl Harbor. There are smooth concert floors and it is built in a hanger so ample room to maneuver a stroller. It is air conditioned which is a great relief if you are just coming from other outings like visiting the Arizona Memorial (I do recommend visiting the Arizona Memorial first and then drive over to Ford Island if you have a military ID). Our kids like to roam around and since it is a open floor plan and isn’t one of those stuffy hush-hush type museums loud kids aren’t looked down upon to bad. There are life size torpedoes the kids like to stand next to and a floor map that they can walk on and see what path the Japanese took when approaching Oahu. There are exciting and real full size planes hanging from the ceilings and displayed on the floor. Please be mindful of your children though so they don’t climb up or in any of the floor displays.

Once you see the movie and complete the tour in the museum stroll on down to hanger 37. Before you enter the hanger make sure you stop and look up at the blue pane windows. There are several bullet holes that remind us of the sober moment that once happened there. Once inside they have several full sized aircraft to see. They also have a restoration shop inside where you can see modern day restorations.


Makapuu Lighthouse Hike

lighthouse picmonkey lighthouse picmonkey2

Two miles round trip, we thought this would be a easy up and back with some spectacular views. Well we got one thing right. The views were awesome and I loved stopping (on the ocean side) to feel the sea spray and breeze off the ocean. We tossed back and forth how to transport three small children on the hike. We decided upon two walking and one stroller bound. The other option we thought about wearing Diva in the Ergo and trekking Diva up in the Kelty carrier. Hubs was happy he didn’t choose that route. Hubs is a fit man but wearing Diva up that hike probably would have lead us to eat our children, again.

This is not a easy hike. We go on family walks a lot and thought our children could easily do two miles. But we didn’t take into account for the gain in elevation and the wineness factor of our kids. I seriously wanted to throw them off at the top. Luckily we were able to use the footrest at the base of the stroller as a second seat.

Advice is to hurry up on the first half of the walk to the other side where the breeze blows off the ocean. Half of the first part of the hike is on the side of the mountain that blocks the breeze put off by the ocean. Make sure you bring a water bottle for every hiker. We went through all 5 water bottles. There is basically no shade and limited resting spots; it would be wise to wear hats and sunglasses. Lastly, once you get to the second half where the breeze is blowing; STOP. It is a beautiful sight.


USS Missouri

This isn’t one for young kids or adults who need assistance walking. Both our mothers have very bad knees and neither had the stamina or ability to do this “hike”. I do call it a “hike” as it is up and down a lot of stairs and in tight (VERY TIGHT) passage ways. It is mainly a one way street for most of the “hike” and there are lots of places that are roped and blocked off. I honestly would not take any children under the age of 5 unless they understand no means no. Our spawn would try and duck under the ropes and run past the “do not enter” signs. Please be mindful if you do take children that there are individuals here who are remembering a point in their life that might have brought them a lot of pain and sadness. Be mindful to the calm atmosphere here.

USS MO pickmonkey

In a later post I’ll share with you some great places to eat and visit on the North Shore of Hawaii. Stay tuned!