If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say; Then Don’t Say Anything At All


Bug came home from school yesterday with his second “red” day this week. I attribute it to him being on spring break and out of routine. His teacher seemed so surprised at his behavior and when I didn’t share the same feeling she seemed offended. I reminded her he was out of school for several days and getting back into a routine would take probably the same time frame. She just turned around and walked away from me.

Bug comes up to me and for the second day in a row tells me (dull of any emotion) – “I’ll try again tomorrow”. I sigh; at this point I no longer care what his teacher says. I see she doesn’t care about Bug’s ASD. And when we get home and I open his folder to see her note for the day I realize even more how special and amazing my child is.

Her note reads – ” He got in trouble for telling a friend he didn’t like his art”. I sat there mad at Bug for a second before it clicked. Bug has ASD. His brain does not think maliciously. His brain thinks in facts.

FACT – Bug did not like the child’s art work.

FALSEHOOD – Bug hated the work because it didn’t appeal to him.

Bug thinks in facts. He thinks in black and white. He thinks in truths.

Bug does not think in intangibles, fiction, gray, or lies.

So my thought is – how do I explain this? More importantly, how do I explain this to a educator who is already suppose to under stand this? At this moment, I don’t. I brush away his “red” days in relation to falsehoods his teacher presents and focus on the true nature of a child. But since Bug lives in a world of black and white, I did have to create yet another rule for him to live by. Luckily it is one well know, however, all to often not followed.

We want our children to not be afraid to speak their minds; but let us education our children on how and when they should. So today I taught Bug – if you don’t have anything nice to say; then don’t say anything at all.

 

 

 

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