A Parents Dilemma: To Tell or not to Tell Your Your Child about Their Diagnosis


20140717-081521-29721568.jpg

I’ve written before about a question some parents of children of ASD share- when and do we tell our children about their diagnosis.

There is a debate related to it. What does it benefit the child if we tell them? Some argue that it can cause low self esteem in children who might already feel depressed, upset or confused about themselves. The other side to the argument is some children might feel relief to know there is a diagnosed problem and it is not just a feeling. With confessing to them their diagnosis comes understanding about themselves and might make it easier for the child to manage their life. Whatever side you are on, I don’t feel there is a right side. They say “if you’ve seen one child with Autism, you have seen one child with Autism”. Every child is different; nuero typical or not. You have to decide for yourself whether your child could handle the reveal.

However, that pops a new question into my mind. Does that mean we are deceiving our children by not telling them?

I know, just recently, Bug has announced he is different than other people. His reasons are infantile and childish; he likes watching tv a lot. I want to correct him and explain that he is different. But so is Diva and SB. SB is cray cray! But I feel that parent guilt again. Am I lying to my child?

Bug is quite different from Diva. He sees the world in black and white. There are rules to follow for everything and if not he makes up his own rules to follow. He is book smart and doesn’t have a lot of common sense. He doesn’t express emotions. I want to tell him his deep secret I’ve been keeping for him. I feel he could handle it. I even feel it could help him understand why he knows he is different.

I think that’s it. I think the key to deciding if you tell your child is if they notice they are different. If they can access there is a difference between themselves and others, I think they could benefit from knowing it’s not bad to be and feel different.

Luckily, last week I was blessed with a few materials to help me blab my secret to Bug. During a EFMP intake meeting for our new duty station, we were given a bag full of great resources and books including Say Hello To Me by April Charisse and Since We’re Friends by Celeste Shally. Both children’s books depict the main character as having ASD.

It maybe not be the right decision for your child, but at this point, I feel it is the right one for mine. I know it will come with a lot of questions but I hope it will give him a lot of answers.

Of course I’ll keep you all updated on how it goes and right now I’m out of vodka to help me after the process; so it might be a few days before I get to it.

Organizing Our Chaos: Summer Hiatus


20140708-083931-31171361.jpg

Yesterday I posted about my summer abroad visiting family and loving life back on the mainland after FOUR YEARS (I still can’t get over that!) of island living. I’ve been sporadic with my posting and begging my co-blogger to help out. She has been amazing, but now we both are at the point mid-summer where we are just having to much fun and enjoying our family.

As you know we are a family blog. We love to share our funny, positive stories along with how to manage and organize chaos while raising children with special needs with a dash of being military wives. Enjoying your family, despite diagnosises, is our most important point we like to make. Furthermore, because of that we can going to cut back on our daily posts to live what we preach. Hopefully, we can provide you with new entertaining stories like Dirty Water and Manhood. Take the rest of the summer to read some past articles and familiarize yourself more with who we are and what we our mission.

Mommy Moment Mondays: A Summer Abroad


20140707-211545-76545489.jpg

Is it over yet? Is it time to pawn my children off at school and take more than a 3 minute power nap? If I fall asleep on the toilet one more time I might commit myself. Our summer break has been anything but; however, it is for all the best reasons- our family.

The most popular question we get asked is “do we miss Hawaii?” Our answer; no. Our course even that answer comes with some caveats. Who wouldn’t miss day after day of perfect 82 humidity free sunny weather? However, as I have said before- even paradise has it’s draw backs. The only and biggest drawback was of course not being close by family. Missing family is more than just missed birthdays, births, life and even death.

We made the point of this summer catching up with everyone we could. We didn’t even have time to visit with half our family and friends we haven’t see in the past FOUR YEARS, however, we did what we could.

Not only did we visit family and friends, we showed our children our old stomping grounds. They are too young to understand the significance of a location to us, but it made Hubs and I proud to be able to finally let them play in the parks we did, see our elementary school, and hometown highlights. Even if your children can’t talk, see, hear or understand an importance of a memory tied to a location; show them. They might surprise you and nevertheless, don’t deny yourself of those feelings and emotions.

20140707-211547-76547286.jpg

20140707-211546-76546451.jpg

20140707-211549-76549045.jpg

20140707-211548-76548149.jpg

20140707-211550-76550894.jpg

20140707-211550-76550028.jpg

20140707-211553-76553301.jpg

20140707-211552-76552334.jpg

20140707-211551-76551619.jpg

On-the-go with ASD


mrsmissioncontrol:

Wordy Wednesday…Schedules on-the-go
We know kiddos with ASD (and often times, their mothers too) do much better when their is a schedule. It helps them know what to expect and it can lower their feelings of anxiety. We are getting ready for a fourth of July road trip, which can always be challenging. It reminded me of a post I did almost a year ago about some tricks to help kiddos with ASD when travelling and even to maintain a schedule during a regular day at home. I thought it was worth sharing again. Hope everyone is having a great day! As always, let me know your thoughts and any tricks-of-the-trade that have worked in your home :)

Originally posted on :

So, I have been blessed with two little boys, and there are not very many dull moments in our house.  Between our military lifestyle and both our boys being diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), things can get a bit chaotic.  We move and travel quite a bit, and even when we are on the home-front for a while, the days are filled with lots of therapy appointments, playgroups, etc…All of that said, we are “on-the-go” constantly.  That can cause anxiety in any kid and for a child with ASD, it can be especially hard.  They can have a hard time understanding the passage of time, and while waiting can be difficult for any child, it can be especially excruciating for them.  We especially had trouble when we were running more than one errand at a time (library, stopping for lunch, picking up prescriptions, etc…)

My son’s ABA (Applied Behavior…

View original 518 more words

Tip{py} Tuesday: Road Trip Tips


20140701-084747-31667137.jpg

Just recently the kids and I completed 5 stages of a road trip for our PCS from Hawaii to North Carolina. The last leg of our trip was over 800 miles, two days and 15 hours of driving. I am flying solo and needed all the help I could get dealing with three children under the age of 6 with ASD. And guess what? We all survived. Which means there was a small glimmer of doubt in my mind we wouldn’t. I did picture a few times strapping my children to the top of my car like a hood ornament. But saner minds prevailed and all my children carried out the road trip in style in the back of the car. However, it was not without it’s moments of “are we there yet”. So how did I not throw myself out of the moving vehicle due to incessant complaining and fighting?

First, I prepared them. I got on my iPhone and plugged our route into an driving app- Waze. It told us how long it was going to take, all road hazards and police on our route and the route. The kids were able to scroll around the map and see the towns and other things we would pass. It gave them a plan; they knew what to expect.

Next, I made a roadtrip basket. We have some new to me stores on the mainland called Five Below (where everything is under $5.) they had some foldable, collapsable and flimsy baskets. The metal got crushed and dented; but the basket still works and it was only $5.

I filled the basket with age and skill level appropriate travel games like Candyland, Old Maid, Go Fish and a normal deck of cards. I added in coloring books, Crayola mess free markers, picture books and mess free snacks (think squeezable applesauce, snack traps with goldsfish and cheese and cracker packs). I stuck the basket within reach of my oldest and with the instructions they must ask before getting a snack and he must help his sister get what she needs. Bug being the hard core rule follower was great at his job. I played into his skill and told him it was an important job. He loved being responsible and it calmed him down knowing he was in charge of that situation.

The last thing I did was almost the greatest and cheapest. I found two suction cupped baskets at Walmart. They are used for sticking bars of soap or toothbrushs in while hanging in the shower. Inside them I places the kids mess free markers and headphones. This way the smaller items must likely to get lost where contained. They also used it as their trash can and to hold other items. I have seen them in much larger sizes. I stuck them to their windows and bam! They had everything they needed at the fingertips.

Of course there was fighting, but at least for the most part there was silence.